What would convince you?

I have recently participated in a really great training run by Sylwia Królikowska-Evenhuis. The training was about Interpersonal Communication and despite the fact that I wasn't sure whether I should go or not I decided to do so and... well, it turned out to be great experience packed with a lot of information (new and reminders) and a ton of fun.
And because I always thought that a good piece of advice and knowledge should be spread, in next few posts I will share with you some of the most important things I heard there.

who knows best?

Each of us was in a situation (and I'm pretty sure that more than once) when we wanted to get something, do something, convince someone to our opinion or plans. It just happens and there’s nothing special about that.
And what have you usually done in such cases? Personally, I used to take notes (either on paper or in my mind) and list all good things which would happen if we did it on my way, I list also bad ones be prepared to protect my idea/proposition. I thought hard about arguments which would convince my interlocutor — what would make him, as well as me, accept the offer?
It was hard. I know what would convince me, but how could I know what would convince the other side? Maybe there's a way to make negotiations easier and more satisfying for both sides? How to end up with a win-win result?

there is a person who knows the answer

And what would happen if you just asked your caller during the conversation, just when he shows any sign of resistance? “What would convince you?”, “What need to happen to do it on my way?”
It's great to come up with propositions but if your partner doesn't agree for any? Isn’t it better to ask him? Who would know better than him what would make him happy?

it can't be so simple...

And it's not always is. Of course, in the ideal situation we will receive an answer with conditions that we can fulfill. But it's not always the case.
What if the counter proposition will be impossible to meet?
Well, we should dig deeper, now there's time for our reaction. We can say that "It's impossible" and end conversation, but it's not our purpose. We want to achieve more, not even compromise, we want one result — a win-win situation when everyone is happy. That's why we can say something like: "ok, that's fine, but maybe there is something different, something within my reach which allows me to make you satisfied with the result?" We can just ask more question.
If the second side also want to make a deal, he will help us. And if not directly (I want this and this), those questions can put us on track, and show us more than we could imagine ourselves.

People are usually willing to help you help them.

it can be even worse

Yes, it can. We can hear simple: "no, there's nothing like that" and our interlocutor will just give us impossible conditions and he would say that's his "last word". Of course, we can ask more questions, but it can bring no result and make the atmosphere even more tense. What then? In that case, simply change the topic. Before you get any answer, first you will have to know "what". What are the reasons why he don't want to help you make a deal. Maybe there's something more and you have to know what. Maybe it's not about proposition? Maybe it's not even because of anything that happened during the conversation? Maybe it's something that is not even related to the case?
After you solve this problem, you can move forward with what is the real goal of your conversation. And I'm pretty sure that if you solve this issue, your partner will be even more willing to help you find answers to your first question.

Now, I'm curious, what would convince you to try it yourself?

Customers don't know what they want!

I believe that you heard this sentence many times, maybe a few times you were a person who said it (sadly I need to admit that I also said it a few times in past), and maybe you heard additional comments like: "They don't understand how their business works!", "Who had a such a great idea?!" and many others which mainly shows how everyone are upset because of customer's requirement.
Why people feels like this? Because they see no logic under requirement and functionality and (sometimes) even customer's explanations don't brings this desired "aha" moment.

I were there many times and I believe that many times are still in front of me and I can assume that almost everyone who have ever had to create something for a client know this very well.

So maybe it's really something with our clients? Or maybe... it's something with us?

Ok, let me tell you a short story.

what our customers want to get?

let's talk about what really matters

We are making preparation to start working on huge improvements in our's best selling product and one of the thing, that we recently done, was a revision through expectations which our's customers have.
We agreed it cannot be a features list, rather simple adjectives, generalities, not specifics, something which should be valid and important for any functionality that we want to add or improve, something which will be always true, at any time.

I believe that was pretty well invested time, even if each point on this list can looks like something really obvious (maybe even like a cliche?), but I think (and whole team agreed), that going through this list whenever change will come, can show us are we going in the right direction, before we start working on it.

In my opinion, the list which we created, can be useful not only for us, that's why I decided it would be worth to share the results. So let's see how this list look like?

become a challenge seeker

another thing to do

So, you are starting. New feature to implement, complex modification, improvements in performance, user experience in UI or something completely different.

You got everything what you need to start, you got it from customer. Is he/her difficult with cooperation? Doesn't matter, you talked with him/her so many times, so many hours spent on learning his/her way of thinking, behavior. There is nothing unexpected in gathering requirements (or however you will call it). Even if it isn't easy job to do. You been there, you know what to do.

fails are not the worst thing on earth

failures happens

Almost everyone in IT knows that "the only constant is change", but I strongly believe there is another constant - failure.
If you never failed before, I got bad news - you will, that's for sure. One day, sooner or later, but it will happen. But, don't worry, everyone fails from time to time and there is nothing bad in this. Well, maybe there is, but it's not so tragic as someone can assume:)

The problem is not failure itself, problems comes after it. And this "after" defines either you will lose on this situation or not.